Here is the link to Amy's post including the three phrases and I added it below in case you didn't want to click:
I found an article written by a parenting coach about the 3 phrases for kids! I started implementing it in my family a few weeks ago and I'm already starting to see the benefits!
1. "Next Time" - the next time your child breaks a rule, crosses a line, or makes any mistake, instead of punishing them, talk about what happened, why it happened and what we can do better next time. Children are encouraged to strove for improvement in the future.
2. "In This Family" - to help your children define their family's morals and practices.3. "How Did You Do That" - whenever your child creates a work of art. This is good for their memory and language as well as their story-telling skills. Your child will delight when you show genuine interest in their creations. (http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2013/06/17/Three-Phrases-For-Kids.aspx)
My take on the situation:
I like the "next time" phrase most of the time. A small change instead of asking why somethings happened I think I would stop at what happened? How can we fix it next time? With the "why" it is opening the door to justify the misbehavior. Nine times out of ten we don't need to justify our misbehavior, we know why we did it but that doesn't make it right, right? (I have earned few speeding tickets in my past-like how I said earned because, yup unfortunately that is the correct word needed in that sentence.)
"In this family" is probably my favorite of the three phrases. I am happy to say that I have used this phrase with my kiddos at school. It is a reminder that when something is right it is always right even if no one else is doing it. I like this phrase because it can soften the blow of "because we know better." Been there!
"How did you do that" is a must in the classroom! We need to ask and be interested in the answer. This is huge to our kiddos! We want them to listen to us therefore we need to be willing to listen to them. Practice what we preach in all.
I am pretty certain that the implementation of these phrases in any classroom or home would absolutely make it run smoother. Money back guarantee. :)